Radio National's own Kate Leavey.
In response to our interview with Anne Kreamer about her book Going Gray, we’re pleased to bring you the Life Matters Going Grey challenge.
At the age of 49 Anne embarked on an 'amateur social science experiment' to go grey. And the decision to stop colouring her hair has led to many other appearance and lifestyle changes.
Over coming months we’ll follow and track some of our listeners as they take up the challenge to either stop dyeing their hair or just let the grey hair come through.
Rhonda is 39 and has never dyed her hair but was contemplating it as 40 approaches. She writes " My mother is 80 and has dyed her hair all of her life which made me object to doing so". She promises to take her hat off for her next progress photo!
Deborah is the CEO of the Australian Koala Foundation and was this year awarded an Order of Australia Medal for her service to the nation for her work to protect the wild koala and its habitat. Deborah is a proud mother and nannie and is looking forward to the challenge of allowing the grey to come through.
Is an enthusiastic challenger and is wondering whether her authentic colour will be showing through by the time she celebrates a significant birthday later in the year.
She writes: "Every six weeks or so for the last few years, the other man in my life (the one who runs his fingers through my hair and gazes at my reflection in the mirror) has been applying various shades of brown gunk to my slightly greying hair. After handing over a fist full of Australian dollars, I emerge from his premises a deeper shade of brown. I’m currently donkey, although I have been mocha, coffee and cinnamon. It has been four full weeks since he last had his hands on my hair and you can see the results in this photo. Not quite grey yet, but not as deep a brown as it should be.
Lucinda has been toying with the idea of going grey for some time now. She writes "I am an artist and as such I often let the roots show so I know it isn't all grey, but I always chicken out and dye it when too much grey shows. Mainly it is fear. My older sister went grey in her twenties and once or twice she has been asked if she is my mother. It's very embarrassing for both of us". Even so Lucinda is inspired after listening to Anne Kreamer and has decided to enter the challenge.
Julia has been having her hair dyed professionally for about 10 years. (photo left, from late 2007)
This week she had ash blonde streaks, with brown bits in between put through her hair to begin her own transition to going grey.
Sue has been living in Korea for over a year now where obtaining a hair colour other than black has proved to be a bit of a challenge (Image right).
Actually in Korea Sue says being grey confers a few social advantages.
Sue is coming back to Australia soon and is worried she might have trouble trying to find a job as she goes grey. Her experience is that older women are
often invisible or overtly excluded in Australia's professional world. But she's willing to give it a go!
Lynne reckons she has been going grey for the last 20 years.
She writes "Becoming single at 48 was a bit scary so I thought that I needed the advantage to looking and keeping young by continuing to dye my hair." (Image left)
Now though she's decided to take up the Going Grey challange.
"The next step in Going Grey, no dye in the hair for the last 5 months." (Image right)
As this year marks the major turning point of a 50th birthday, I am toying with the idea of going grey. Not that I have been a die-hard (ahem) fan of dying ever, but it will be interesting to see if I can stick it out until the birthday in December. I wondered as I saw my stripped down face in the mirror this morning, if 'faking it' with colour should be stepped up in foundation, blusher and eyeliner, or is that cheating too? Where do you draw the line? No lipstick? And if not, why not? Here's a thought - Nature is removing the colouring from our hair and our faces (those secondary sexual characteristics) at the same time. Perhaps it is so we become invisible to the opposite sex at a time when we should be 'beyond breeding'. I'll happily join the less is more campaign and do the monthly diary, too! (unless it seriously affects my sex life!)
I read Anne's book with interest a few months ago. Much of her story reflected my own. I had been troubled by an awareness that I coloured my hair to cover the grey hair - to somehow look younger – to look like something that I no longer am at 43. But I don't consider myself 'old'. I'm not even sure what I mean by 'old' as I know some truly amazing older women, whom I guess I would call 'old'-I just know its not me-yet. I thought I had arrived at the point, after much thinking, research and collecting of pictures of fabulous looking grey haired women and announcing to all and sundry-family, friends & work colleagues that I was not going to dye my hair any longer.
Unlike Ann, I had opted for a dramatic change from long to short hair. My hairdresser was not 'on board' with the 'no hair dye' idea and when all my long hair was cut off I was not prepared for what I saw in the mirror - I was clearly not ready to see myself with my actual hair colour which is best described as a 'salt & pepper' colouring. On the spot, I got my hair recoloured and thankfully incurred minimal remarks from my family, friends and colleagues. Listening in today has me reflecting on the challenge that living with my actual hair colour gives me. I don't know if I am yet ready to have the 'actual' me move about the world - it surprises me just how fundamentally challenging I find the idea.
I have been on a 5 month adventure so far in getting back to my (grey) roots. I am 43, this process has been just a small component in an overall "makeover" that I started about 2 years ago. I just decided one day I've ad enough of this business of colouring my hair, it only ever looked fantastic on the first day, thereafter it turned to a crunchy over processed bunch that always sat on top of my head like a gnarled birds nest. The thing I have noticed is my natural colour better suits my skin tone, my blue eyes stand out more and I just look fresher. My teenage daughter has been a great help in the process encouraging me too keep my eyebrows shaped and spoil myself in other beauty treatments all of which can be experienced on a budget by going to your local TAFE beauty college.
I think this grey hair movement is going to be a huge thing that we are yet to embrace and will be the starting point for middle age upwards women to confidently take their place in the community. I realised in eflection that the most memorable of my elder female relatives, the shakers and movers within my family, all had grey hair and that I decided I wanted a bit of what they had. My last bit to add is that I think it can only work if you wear it proudly and so I now look after my hair in a way that I never did before.
I’m 56 years old and it's never occurred to me to colour my hair! True I sometimes catch glimpses of myself in shop windows and wonder who that old woman with the less than perfect posture is, but then I go home and stand in front of my own mirror. It's a kind of a wicked stepmother mirror. It shows me a friend I've known for 5 and a half decades and although she isn't the fairest one of all I like her the way she is.
I am now 53 years old. When I was 26 I had a long, thick, luxuriant mane of hair - with one long white hair. The boys at work pulled it out. Thus I kept an eye on any stray grey hairs. 13 years ago when my youngest child began school I began to colour my hair, firstly at home, then by going to a hair salon. The object I can say was to spritz up my life and to create an image that said "this home duties mum is not boring or old". Three of my four children have finished their education, and that youngest child is now being educated in a private school.
In order to pay fees, I began as the family accountant, to tighten the belt. I could cope with grey hair now that my children were no longer young. Now my girls colour their hair! I've changed hair styles, it's been toned every 6-8 weeks and is looking fairly healthy. My husband (of 25 years) asked me the other day what my natural hair colour is like. I replied "You’re looking at it!" As a result of my acceptance of my appearance - and therefore my age - I have noticed that my wardrobe is changing to reflect that. Just little by little. The things I do and how I relate to people is also changing. I think it has to do with living in the real world.
I absolutely loved the discussion on women going grey. I would love to take up your challenge to go grey, but I can't. Why you might ask? Well it is because I have never coloured my hair (with the only exception a temporary rinse that I was talked into by a hairdresser) I am in my 50's now and I first began going grey at age 38. I have repeatedly had hairdressers tell me that I really must do something about my grey hair if I really want to be attractive. I have repeatedly told them that I earned every one of those grey hairs and that I am keeping them to prove it!
I especially loved the part about Anne Kreamer testing whether she could get a date with grey hair. I personally have never had any trouble getting dates. Being attractive is a package that includes many things which I won't go into here. It is not just about the hair, clothes, or whatever. Thanks for a great story! Still loving my grey hair!
